Parenting Responsibilities

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Parenting is not an easy task that anybody can accomplish with ease. Parenting demands a lot of commitment, sense of responsibility and perseverance during the process of upbringing a child. Roles of parents change according to the stage of child’s development.

Infants: Parents enjoy this part of child’s life the most. It is a memorable experience to witness all the first activities of a child including his first smile, his first words and his first steps. Parents have to just hug, play, laugh and love their children at this age. Infants tend to register in their minds all the affections of the parents including their touch, hug and even voice.

Toddlers: This is the age when children tend to learn anything that they see and listen. Toddlers tend to carefully analyze every behavioral pattern of the parent and try to imitate those emotions and actions. It is the responsibility of the parents to provide guidance about right behavior from the beginning. Parents have to hug, play, laugh, love and teach their children.

Pre-teens: This is the most fragile period of life. Children tend to get influenced by their surroundings including friends, relatives and even televisions. Parents should be careful while guiding children at this age.

Teenage: Best results of parenting can be obtained if the parents stop behaving with a teenager as a parent. This is time where priorities of the teenager change. Friends occupy the top importance. It would be easier if the parent can become the parent. Teenagers should be provided with space to grow. Their individuality should be respected and freedom. Parents have to hug, laugh, and love, teach, discipline and listen to the child.

Resource: www.TerrificParenting.com

Using Empathy In Difficult Parenting Situations

By Adina Soclof

Empathy is one of the best techniques that you can use when communicating with your children. Sometimes empathy can be just listening with full attention and a caring look. Other times you can go further and reflect their feelings. Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence encourages parents and caretakers to learn how to deliver empathy to their children. He further states that parents who are more empathetic and manage their children’s feelings effectively will have better relationships with their children. He cites studies that have shown that children of empathetic parents are better able to manage their own difficult emotions, can soothe themselves and get angry less often. They are also more relaxed. These children have good social skills and are liked by their peers. Overall, they have fewer behavior problems, good attention skills and are more effective learners.

So, what is holding us back? There are many reasons parents are not using empathy with their kids. There is one aspect of empathy that makes parents feel uncomfortable. It may feel too permissive. If a child is complaining about their teacher, parents have a hard time empathizing because they feel a child should be more respectful. If a child is discussing their personal morals and it conflicts with a parents principles, parents will be quick to judge.

It is important to remember that when we listen and empathize with our children we are not condoning their behavior. Empathy does not mean that you agree with what your child is telling you. There are gentle ways after you have delivered empathy to let children know your opinion.

Here are 2 suggestions on how we can empathize without condoning behavior:

1.Empathize and then affirm your belief that your child will do the right thing:

Child: “Ms. M is so annoying and mean!”
Adult: “It sounds like you are having a rough time with your teacher.”
Child: “Yeh, she is the worse, I am not learning anything.”
Adult: “That can get frustrating!”
Child: “I know!”
Adult: “Well, I know you are having a hard time with your teacher, but I also know that somehow you will learn to manage this tough situation with a respectful attitude.”

2. Empathize and disagree in a non-confrontational way:

Adult: ” I am glad you told me your opinion and strong feelings about being a vegetarian. I am not sure if I agree. I need to really think this over. You had some great arguments about adhering to this lifestyle. I am glad that you shared some of your values and your friend’s values with me. It is important for adults to know what is important to kids.”

For more information on using empathy with your kids visit us at http://www.parentingsimply.com. You can download audios or join our live parenting workshops. We want to help you increase the peace in your home.

Adina Soclof, a certified Speech Pathologist, received her masters degree from Hunter College in New York in Communication Sciences. A Adina developed TEAM Communication Ventures and conducts parenting, teacher and clinician workshops via telephone nationwide. You can visit her website at http://www.ParentingSimply.com. Adina lives with her husband and four lively children in Cleveland, Ohio.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5344989

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

Parental Responsibility- Don’t Only Condition But Also Educate

By Shevach Pepper

Parents are responsible to help their children develop into healthy (emotional and physical), happy, and productive adults. Isn’t this the fair thing to do; you brought them here, so help them to make the best out of their time here? I admit, it isn’t always an easy task (to put it mildly); but that doesn’t exempt us from our responsibility.

A common situation that parents are forced to deal with is sibling hitting. A young sibling (about 6 to 8 years olds) “gets on the nerves” of an older sibling (about 10 or 11 years old). The older sibling who has not yet developed proper social skills “smacks” the younger brother or sister in the face. What should you do?

Firstly it is very important to understand the difference between conditioning and education. Conditioning is training someone (or something, like a pet) the proper way to act in a situation. This is done by giving a good reward for good behavior (a candy, a good word, or granting a certain privilege) or something distasteful for unacceptable behavior (a spanking (for very young children) put to bed early (for a little older children), or taking away a certain privilege (for even older children). This is a great way to quickly but momentarily encourage good behavior and stop bad behavior .

Your job as a parent doesn’t stop here. As a matter of fact, it hasn’t really started yet! You have to EDUCATE your child and help him to develop into a healthy and productive adult not only condition her to be one. To educate means to explain to them, in a way that they will understand, why something is wrong and how to avoid such behavior.

For instance, ask after they calm down from the “conditioning punishment” ask them:

*Jason do you understand what you did to deserve getting punished?

*Why do you think that I think hitting brothers or sisters is bad?

*Is there something else that can be down when he “gets on your nerves”?

Listen to their answers carefully to understand from where “they are coming” and guide them to understand YOUR way of thinking. You’ll see that when you use conditioning AND education together your children will grow up to truly be healthy, happy, and productive adults.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/555458

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com